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Air

We lived for over two years in an apartment that was so close to the L tracks that we very rarely opened any windows, even on the most temperate of days, because the noise from the trains passing by...

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Water

I’ve not lived without an ice maker for as long as I’ve not lived without a dishwasher, about ten years, but here I am surviving without either.  Yes, these are privileged people problems, and I don’t...

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Comcast Sucks Shit

analyst John has entered room John: Hello Suzanne, Thank you for contacting Comcast Live Chat Support. My name is John. Please give me one moment to review your information. Suzanne: My Issue: Need to...

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MistaBeatItUp

 Hi sorry I bothered but I think I’m worth it you might as well. 24% Enemy 37% Friend 88% Match Message from MistaBeatItUp Not w/that sentence structure. Yes with that structure I’m a Tattoo artist...

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(Not So) Winning Opening Lines (Again x 17)

next time I stay downtown would you like to go have a drink ….???    hey u hows it going just wanted to say hi and see how your weekend was going..   I normally don’t write twice to somebody. But i...

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No, THIS is 40

I’m 40.  I’m 40.  I’ve been telling myself this for a while, so I could get used to it.  I’m 40.  I am 40 years old.  I have lived for 40 years.   FORTY.  Fuck. There was a Judd Apatow movie with the...

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Don’t Tread on Me

get a fucking car you loser. I don’t know why anyone would want to meet you after reading this piece of garbage. you’re one of the most critical, condescending person I can think of. you’re a lawyer?...

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(Not So) Winning Opening Lines (Again x 18)

hi…just needed to tell u that you are extremely sexy….now you can lump me in with the rest of the shmoes that tell u that. :) The guy’s profile said he had just gotten out of a relationship and all he...

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It Was Just … Bad

There’s a guy I met through OkCupid whom I consider a friend.  He’s a nice guy.  We have fun together. We had a few fun outings together where there was zero sexual tension.  I figured he wasn’t...

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(Not So) Winning Opening Lines (Again x 19)

psychotic is not always bad…haha I don’t know what the fuck I was supposed to do with that!  This sucks… really was excited to hang out with you… Still no response?? This fucking sucks!!! This, from a...

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Facts About Me (1)

1.  I lived in California for 37 years.  For most of that time I couldn’t imagine living in any other state. 2.  I’ve never had a Pop Tart. 3.  I’ve never seen any of the Godfather movies; I get all...

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newpalex2013

cute eyes, :) My gf and I like to meet you   The low match % plus the grammar issues in your profile have helped me decide I don’t want to meet you.   That is true because I was sending a message from...

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sivernotgray

 It looks like I made the cut at 80%…whew! This dude lives in the suburbs, so it doesn’t matter our match %. But you haven’t based on your location. Yea….I live in the fucking suburbs. Here for the...

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Numbers

I have no idea how many people I’ve fucked.  It’s not that I don’t count blow jobs and pussy eating, it’s that I truly lost count.  My guess is somewhere in the triple digits – so somewhere between 100...

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Earth

I garden.  It’s one of my several volunteer gigs.  I chose to garden at the local zoo – despite the fact that I’m not fully supportive of keeping wild animals in captivity, even if they are...

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Fist Fuck x 2

I met a guy at my local bar. Through OkCupid he and I had scheduled a meet.  Earlier in the week he texted to confirm we were meeting.  I assured him that we were.  On the specified day and time I went...

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Flashdance – The Musical

Yes I did see Flashdance in the theater.  I also saw Flashdance – The Musical live and in person, in the theatre some 30 years later.

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Three Weeks Off

We all need a summer break.  I took one.  Get over it. I swear.  True story.

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Not Conducive to Fucking

I tend to reserve my weekends for the Viking.  After all, I can meet the OkC idiots at any time.  So it was unusual that I had a date on a Saturday. I had a Saturday date because I had moved it from...

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Mammogram

I had my first mammogram.  They’re suggested/required annually for women 40 and over.  As I turned 40 this year, it was “suggested” I get one.  I chose the location referred by Planned Parenthood that...

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